Once upon a time, there was a princess named Julie who only wanted to knit a ‘thick and thin’ scarf.  That’s a very simple want.  She bought some absolutely beautiful, soft, pink, angora-ish yarn as her ‘thick’ yarn, and some kickass metallic pink yarn for her ‘thin’ yarn.  Poor Julie.  Little did she know that the kickass metallic pink yarn had a curse on it.  A tangle curse.  A really, really, really strong tangle curse.  No sooner had she knitted a few inches of her wonderful ‘thick and thin’ scarf, than the curse kicked in with a vengeance.

Ah, the innocent scarf - before the wicked curse set in.

Soon, quicker than she could say “Size 15 needles?  Are you sure I can’t use 13s?”  the kickass metallic yarn leapt from its little ball of neatness and became a beyond-belief, where-are-the-scissors MESS.

“I know!” exclaimed Julie, “I’ll take it to my knitting godmothers and see if they can straighten it out.”  And so she did.

Right away, knitting godmother Leslie grabbed the kickass metallic yarn and slapped it on her head to lessen the curse.

Good god, mother Leslie.

Uh-oh!  The kickass metallic yarn resisted the goodness emanating from knitting godmother Leslie’s head and remained tangled.

Next, knitting godmother Michele tried.  She grabbed the tangled kickass metallic yarn and began to massage the knots, murmuring the good words under her breath.  “I love putting things like this in order.  I can’t stop trying to put this in order.”  This went on for quite a while but had little effect except to induce hot spells in knitting godmother Leslie.  And not good hot spells, either, I should add.

Many spells were cast...off.

Soon, knitting godmother Mary joined in and the triad of good godmothers cast their hands to the heavens and offered promises to the knitting goddess to help them untangle the infernal kickass metallic yarn.

Help us, O goddess of knitting! Or give us more wine!

Finally, after much struggling and cursing…ahem, gentle curses to reverse the horrible BIG curse, knitting godmother Leslie was forced to use her most powerful weapon against the forces of evil.  Her most astounding and little known weapon of magic.  Behold.

The all-powerful TOE OF MAGIC. (we are not worthy to witness it)

Well, needless to say, the unspeakable TOE made quick work of the kickass metallic tangle of yarn.  Soon, it was a docile ball of pinkness resting quietly and innocently upon a purple throne.

Ah, quiet little ball. You have been tamed at last.

It would be blasphemous to utter any more of this oh-so-secret rite of untanglement.  Suffice it to say that the knitting godmothers waved their hands over the hapless Princess Julie and saved her ‘thick and thin’ scarf…maybe.  The last I heard from the little princess was the awful phrase, “Now that I know how it’s done, I think I’m going to unravel the whole thing and start over again.”  Careful, Princess Julie.  We only meet once a week.

All is quiet now in the cottage of the knitting godmothers.

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